To see her every time I look atmyself dressed as a girl I just want to reach out and hug her and it makesme miss her even more. Also, what would my dad say when he saw me at thepageant, he hasn't been the same since we lost her."Anna sat hugging Steven in silence not sure what to say. She could seehow torn he was wanting to dress like a girl, but how much it pained himto see how much he looked like his mother. She had never lost a parent oreven a grandparent, but could see by the tears on his face how much ithurt him. She grabbed some tissues and cleaned his running makeup off hisface."It's OK, baby," she said, "if you don't want to do this I won't make you.We can just find someone else. I only want you to be happy."Steven stopped crying as Anna used a wipe to clean the rest of his makeupoff his face. He looked back in the mirror and saw his own face staringback at him. He got up and went to the bed to get his clothes."I'm sorry," he said, "getting dressed. I've got to go. We ate together silently the most amazing bologna sandwiches I had ever tasted. Finishing my meal, I was still so hungry but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want my mom to leave even for a few minutes to make me another sandwich.“Why did it really happen?” I asked. “Because I’m so young? Or because Ean is my brother?...”“It’s exactly as the doctor said,” her voice flowed so softly. “Even in the healthiest of women, there’s a fifteen to twenty percent chance it can happen. It could have been a bad egg or defective sperm,”“No,” I butted in, “those were both great.”Mom smiled and lifted her arm up to hold my cheek in her hand. Caressing the top of it with her thumb, she just looked so caringly into my eyes.“Can I try for another one,” I asked not sure whether I was joking fully or not. Mom immediately choked and proceeded with coughing. A few seconds after not being able to bring her voice back, she shook her head left and right.As much as I had warmed up to expecting a baby, the most.
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